What Was I Thinking?

Recall with me if you will a post a made a couple of weeks ago where I proclaimed "I got fired", do you remember it? I TAKE IT BACK! I have never been so busy in my life! The days I thought would be filled with loneliness & emptiness have yet to happen. I excitement I expected to feel everyday when I picked the monsters up has been instead replaced with thoughts of "what time do I REALLY have to be at school to pick them up on time?". Don't get me wrong, I do miss them when they are gone and I wish we could spend all of our time together, but I am having no trouble filling my days:)

Between my school work, house work(that I still cannot catch-up on), volunteering at school, girls scouts and so much more, I barely have time to lunch with friends once a week:)And I am still trying to fit walking everyday into my daily routine! FIRED!!! Who was I kidding?

I now understand that I was not "fired", my duties have just changed. Changed and been added to. With that, it is time for me to end this post and get-to work!

Feeling Much Better

Last night was Back-to-School Night at the monster's school and I will say that things went MUCH better than Open House and the first week of school did. I was much more comfortable within myself and therefore more comfortable around others. I realize that much of what I had been feeling(the disconnect & coolness) was coming more from me than others towards me. I no think that the changes that have been made at school, that give the feeling of being uninviting, were not made to dissuade parents from volunteering, but were made to improve the learning environment of the school. I also think that some of the "sterile-ness" is due to the fact that ALL of the construction has not been completed and so it has been decorated back to its former warm & fuzziness of the past:)

So, what I am saying is that maybe it was more me than the school and after a couple of good meetings and regaining some self-confidence, I think the year will be GREAT!



Now, I know this story deserves a post of its own, I don't want to forget to post it and I am here now. It goes like this: Today I was at parent pick-up waiting on the monsters and chatting with a teacher friend of mine, when a lady I have know for sometime walked up and into our conversation. She had no idea what we were talking about, but jumped in inappropriately, to proclaim how wonderful and long our friendship has been and how she hopes it will continue no matter what my "new role" at school shall be(remember I left PTO)...interesting take on our relationship is all I have to say, but not surprising in the old AH:)

Christmas.

Yes, I know it is early but since Christmas has become an insane holiday of gift giving, planning has to start early so that it can be paid for. I like Christmas. I love Christmas decorations and parties, family togetherness and yummy treats, but I cannot stand what Christmas has become...presents & Santa Clause.

As anyone who has read my blog knows, I am not sold on the whole Christianity thing, but I do believe that Christmas was created as a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. With this as the intention, I would love to understand how in the world it has now become about presents and Santa! Where did we drop Christ off and where did the presents come about? I am just trying to find a way to balance this all for my kids.

We celebrate A LOT of holidays in our house, not because we are necessarily affiliated with the culture or religion where the holiday originated, but so that we understand other cultures and religions. For example, my kids enjoy lighting our menorah during Chanukah or talking about the day of the dead on Halloween, but we are not Jewish or Mexican, just interested in other cultures. With all that said, I do not understand what my children are being taught by celebrating Christmas in the American tradition of it. Gifts for no reason? From a man named Santa? Because Christ was born? As I try to understand I see many justifications for the gifts suchas The Wise Men's gifts to Jesus or combining the Feast of St. Nicholas with the birth of Christ and I know there are more theories out there, but none that are really helping me understand the explanation HUGE gift-giving at Christmas.

There is only explanation I have found that seems to make sense...Retailers attached themselves to this holiday and have been pushing it harder and harder every year. Bigger Sales, Christmas Release Dates, Santa Marketing!!! Yes, that is it! Christmas is a time to celebrate Retailers! Thank you so much for making us think we NEED to spend our money!

Maybe this year I will convince my husband that we should celebrate the birth of Christ and not Retail Magic:)

Disturbed

The school my children attend used-to-be fairly "parent-friendly", this year that has all changed. What I find so disturbing about this new trend of excluding parents is that every study shows that schools with high parental involvement achieve much higher. So, why in the world would you discourage parents from getting involved? This is especially upsetting in a county that could not meet state-standards according to standardized tests. It seems a bit moronic to take a school that met standards, that had a large amount of parent involvement and put an end to it. I don't get it. I have to say, it does make me wonder what is going on that they don't want anybody to see?

My New Life.

As you know, today was the first day after being fired. All three monsters went off to full-day school and I was left at home. Well, I had laundry, dishes, vacuuming, school work & phone calls to make, but other than that I had nothing:) Needless to say, I found that I had very little "down-time".

I am not going to lie, I did have to put the music channel on the tv for some back-round noise:) But in all, it was a good day! I got alot done and the rest of the week is looking as busy as today. Maybe being fired will turn-out to be a good thing.

FIRED!

That's how I'm feeling right now. I feel like tomorrow morning will come and I will lose the job I have had for the past 9 years. The job of primary care-giver for my children will no longer be mine. Starting tomorrow all three of them will be spending the majority of their weekdays with strangers instead of with me.

FIRED! I am getting fired! This is not how I saw this playing-out. I had two different scenarios in mind. In the first one I expected myself to be sobbing uncontrollably at the idea of sending my last baby out the door for ALL DAY SCHOOL! In the second, I saw myself beyond excited at the thought of having time for myself for the first time in 9 years. Yet, I feel neither. I feel FIRED!

For the past 9 years I have done the only job I ever wanted and now I am being fired, okay maybe not fired but definitely demoted. I am being sent to the closet!

I will miss the monsters when they go off to school tomorrow and I will be sad, but mostly I wonder what I am going to do all day. And when I really think about it, I know that there will be plenty to keep me busy, but it is still a new job. I am just not sure I want a new job.

WOW! What a Great Day!

I feel like it has been a long, long time since I have said this, "Today was a Great Day!" From start to finish, it was all GOOD! I got up early, enjoyed my morning then headed to the pool where I saw almost ALL of my favorite Harbour people(you know it could not be that many people then;-). From there I headed home for a shower and football; and to my amazement, I had such a nice time at football. With people I never expected to have so much fun with! It is CRAZY what happens when you let yourself enjoy life...laughing, smiling, feeling good! I came home and whipped-up some mozzarella sticks & frozen pizza for a not so healthy, but cheap dinner and treated myself to a GIANT margarita(which I may have added alittle too much of Pepe's tequila to:) but it's all good.

I am so glad I woke-up with a fresh set of eyes in which to view the world, boy did it make a difference. I hope I can keep Polly around for awhile, life is much more fun with her!

The Good, The Bad & Moving On...

There are times in life when you just have to realize that things are not what they were and move on. This can be sad and reflective and that is okay, but in the end you know that moving on, alone is best. As you begin to move past the "incident" that caused the final blow you begin to realize that the high that once was had been gone for much longer than you ever wanted to admit. It is not easy to make the break especially when children are involved, but when you see that your kids have also been hurt, you know what has to be. The End. All that is left is memories. Memories of so many good times and milestones. Memories that you will hold forever.

Moving on will be strange and sometimes sad, but each day will be better and less sad. New memories will be made and there will be different people to share them with. I am ready to look ahead to the new and exciting and am determined to not repeat the past.

Today is a new day and I am going to make it a good one!