A New Obsession!

Because I am "odd" to say the least, I will share with you my new obsession, nostrils! Have you ever really looked at people's nostrils? Well, I have been and I would like to share with you that they are NEVER the same size and most of the time one side is much bigger than the other! It is very weird. And why is that? You have a perfectly balanced face then...their is a glaring difference in the size and shape of your nostrils, WTF??? I stumbled onto this by chance and now I wish I had not because it is all I can do not to check-out nostrils.

Frustrated!

Frustrated! and that really does not do my feelings right now justice! I am very out-of-sorts right now. There are several issues in my life right now that that are in upheaval and that would be okay if they were all in the same area, i.e. all kid related, all school related, but they are not, they span the entire life!

I will start with the least frustrating and work my way up/down from there. My house is a mess! I have so much laundry, I am a load behind in dishes and we are very unorganized! We had hoped to go camping tomorrow, but I am not sure how that is going to happen without coming back to a disaster zone!

Next, my school has started and I do not have my books yet and I have never felt so stupid in my life! I am not sure how I was accepted into this program! And to piggy-back on the school thing, my student loans are a disaster! It is an insane bureaucracy of government and quasi-government organizations and it makes me wonder if interest rates could be lower on student loans if there were not all these layers of crap! Now, after 2 hours on the phone with 2 different colleges, the dept. of education, and sallie mae too many times to count, I found out I can do nothing until November!

My in-laws suck! This is not a new phenomena, it just now involves their treatment of my children, so now I am pissed-off! Yes, they forgot my son's birthday because the are so "over-whelmed" by their new 4 week old grandson that is living with them! Please understand that my SIL and BIL are also there, and it is one 4 week old baby and only 1 of the adults is working! This behavior is not new for my in-laws, in the past however, my children were not at the center. It was usually them treating me like a piece of shit, which has been going on for 19 years now!

Finally, I had a meeting with the powers-that-be at my kids school. It was about Killi and her "learning issues". I got what I had expected from the meeting, but not what I wanted! It is amazing to me the double-talk that is done when dealing with little children and their education! The out-come is that we will meet again in December and see where we are at. In the meantime, I will continue to explore private options! Thank God my taxes are fairly low, and I am not paying millions for public school education and getting F***ed!

Hopefully I can resolve some of these issues over the weekend and relax and enjoy my family! Ben is off tomorrow and I am sure I will be able to sleep in and wake-up refreshed and with a new outlook on life! Yes friends, I am hoping he reads this and I am just wishing aloud;-)

Hummm...

Today continued much like the past week has, crazy and unpredictable! I started the day with a ride to Bethesda for a doctor's appointment for Killi, so that was a nice LONG ride on 95 and the beltway! The appointment went fairly well and I was given the documentation needed to get us moving in the right direction.

I ran home, made a few phone calls and ran out to get Declan from school. On my way in, my mother called to tell me that my grandfather had just passed away! That was nice icing on top of my very crazy cake! I know I had mentioned, more than once that I was not going to NJ until my brother's wedding next November unless someone died...really???? I would have come if someone asked, there was no reason for a death:) On a serious note, my grandfather lived a very long and until very recently, active life. He was an interesting guy. He spent his career as a doctor and he had an opinion on everything! In fact, I wonder if the election of Obama last November is what made him unable to continue on;-)

So, we are headed to NJ. The monsters will get to see their Happy that they have been really missing and they will meet their new cousin! Hopefully this is the end of what has been a very uncomfortable and hard week!

Let's just hope the husband reminds the in-laws that I am a woman on the edge so I don't have to "freak-out" there too;-)

There Goes My Life...

I wish I could find a way to release the stress I carry throughout the day. I should walk on nice days and meditate on rainy days. I don't want to walk fast, just a stroll, 30mins of peace. I would like to force myself to clear my mind and let go of all that is happening in my world. I am just not sure I know how to do this. I have tried meditation in the past, but always find it so difficult to completely clear my mind. Can it be done? There is rarely a moment that goes by that my mind is not racing with millions of things. The kids, husband, household needs, friends, family, school, PTO there is always someone or something to think about. And I am happy to have so much going on, it is always fun and exciting, I just wish I could let it go for a few minutes.

I get overwhelmed by life I tend to soak-up the negative and forget that there is so much more positive that negative in my life. It is so easy to focus on the negative. I want to only hold on to the positives! No more negative in my life! Happy Family, Happy Friends and Happy Thoughts, that is what I will spend my 30 minutes focusing on.

I am so lucky to have this great life and now I am going to start remembering that! I want to enjoy more. Enjoy everything to the fullest extent! I am going to start really looking at things before I get upset or angry about them. I am going to enjoy the ride! Every moment I have with my family and friends I will be grateful. And I am going to remember to smile! When I was in Elementary School, my teachers always told my mom what a beautiful and infectious smile I had and I need to start doing it more! Smiling makes me happy when I do it and I know that it makes other people smile with me! So, I will smile:) I will smile and remember how wonderful my life is and refocus on what REALLY matters!

Trying New Things!

In the past year I have made some changes in my life. Most of them small and not really drastic, just "new" for me. It started with lunch with a friend that turned into a PTO board position, from there I have just kept joining:) PTO was not as surprising as my involvement in local politics. My husband has always warned not to get involved in local politics(too petty:)but as the very good listener I am, I ignored him and have become involved. Then yesterday, I decided to plunge into the world of the evening lions.

Over the past few years I have been thinking and trying to become more involved in my community and now I am done thinking and am jumping in! Although, I may be jumping head first;-)

For now I am enjoying it. Meeting TONS of new people, which is always fun for me:) I am also happy that I am trying to do a little for my community. I am looking forward to my new adventures, a bit nervous, but excited.

So now with 3 monsters, a husband, home, family & friends, PTO, Lions and a Masters Program, I should be good and busy for awhile! I hope the fun continues!

Yeah For Me!!!!

I am happy to report that I have been accepted into the Masters Program of my dreams! I am so very excited! The program can be tailored to my liking. It has been a long time coming. I completed my undergrad online and it took me a very, very long time and the subject was business, which is not an area I have much interest in, but the program was convenient with three little monsters to look after.

Now it is my turn! My turn to do something I want to do while still being at home with the monsters! Now, what to study???? The possibilities are endless!!!!

If At First...

This week I applied to another graduate school. I am three classes in to the program at one school and I hate it! I am not enjoying the classes at all! The subject matter is not keeping my interest and I want a change! I entered a program for school counseling as I thought it would be a good career, but as I said, it was not interesting at all! The program I applied for this week I am very excited about! It is a history and culture program and the only thing that would make the program completely perfect is if they would have thrown-in religion:) History has always been my first love. I can still recite most of the things I was taught in 6,7 and 8th grade by Mr. Harvey, The Articles of Confederation have been the A of C since then:) Now living in the DC Metro area there is so much history everywhere I turn. I really hope this program works out and I will have a chance to pursue this adventure!