Up and Down, Down and further Down and when I'm lucky Up
..Up, Up, Up. Well, maybe not so lucky. "UP" comes with a whole slew of its's own issues. Up brings with it a lack of sleep, reckless behavior and anxiety are the big ones for me. When I'm hypomanic, I never feel comfortable. My clothes don't feel good on my skin, my body hurts to sit or lay and being still is not an option, that makes me feel trapped.
How am I dealing with this? Well, I am relying on my husband. I am relying on him to tell me it's bedtime and time to eat. He also keeps me from making those all too reckless moves. I am fortunate that my hypomanic period is happening while my husband & I are on vacation celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary so I am rarely alone to make reckless decisions.
I am sure there are people that cannot understand being an adult and needing to rely on someone else to keep you in check but it happens to me and I am thankful I have a great support system that will call me out on my behavior and step in to keep me in check. Without them who knows where I'd end up...jail, mental hospital, oh wait, I did that. But honestly, had I listened to my family, I probably would not have landed myself in either of those places.
Relying on other people isn't easy, especially for this Jersey Girl! I want to do it all alone and I ALWAYS know best. Haha. Honestly, it's not easy and I am not always willing to listen but I try because I know I've chosen a great support team that wants me to be well, to be the best me I can be and i love them for it. I know they get frustrated and angry when then have to step in and take care of me but they do it. I am so thankful. I am so fortunate.
If you are living with bipolar disorder, find a support system, it will be the most important part of your maintenance. With them you will use your medicine better, you will go to therapy more, you will eat and sleep better, you will live better. Not everyone can or will stand by and be part of your team but those that do, love you more than you can imagine and want you to be well, even when it doesn't feel that way.
