I Missed That Lesson!

I have three monsters. Declan is 9, Killi 8 & Margaret, the "baby" is 6. And as the "baby" and at six, she is and has always been treated like the "baby". Sure, plenty of people tried to warn me of the pitfalls of this action. Hell, I lived it with my brother who is 5 yrs younger than my sister and 7 yrs younger than me. I know what this looks like clingy, spoiled, mean-to-everyone MONSTER!!!! I used the phrase "just let her have/do/see it just to shut her up, more than I ever imagined it could be used. So, given the fact that I recognize that I have done this one must assume that I would NOT make this mistake again, but...I HAVE!!!!

Pepe, Killiʻs(my) sweet little puppy has now become my second Maggie. He pushes the kids away when they try to love my. He steals toys from Gus and the monsters. And just as we broke Marg from crying at the door when I leave, Pepe now sits at the door and barks and cries when I leave him at home with Ben and the monsters. Itʻs crazy!

The other night I went out and when I got home it was reported to me that Pepe cried for the entire 3 hours I was gone. He also fought with Declan about going to bed(he sleeps in his crate next to me:) Once in the crate, no one could sleep because he barked and whined until I walked in the door.

HOW THE HELL DID I LET THIS HAPPEN TWICE!!! I said after my brother I was NOT going to do this and now I have not done it once, but I have done it TWICE!!!!! Do you think their is a class I can sign myself and the "babies" up for to break this forever? I wonder it Declan, Killi & Gus wish they were the "babies"? And if my brother has not grown-out of being the "baby" at 29, is there any hope that I can break the 6 yr old monster and 9 month old puppy? For the monster I can at least say that she is well mannered and behaved in public for the most part, maybe that should be my goal for the puppy:)

This I have learned, I will bring no more babies human or other animal, into the mix here. No more until this lesson is learned!

Or maybe I should just project all my "babying traits" on to sweet Baby Marshall...Vicky would LOVE that, Duncan & Z too!LOL!

Itʻs Been Too Long.

I have not blogged in some time and trust me, it is NOT because I cannot find things to write about:) I have been hesitant to blog sometimes with all my posts going directly to FB. I stop and think all to often if I REALLY want EVERYONE to see my thoughts, but now I have decided that people donʻt have to read my blog if they donʻt want to and how many people from FB take the time to hope over and read it. With that said, I am going to try to get back to blogging regularly since it relieves some of my stress to bitch "out loud".

The school year is 5 days away from being over and I am both happy and sad about this. I am so happy not having to get up and be somewhere in the morning, but I also donʻt want to waste the summer away sitting at the pool and sleeping in. I want to be disciplined enough to have the kids read some books and continue learning their sight words, but structure, discipline and follow through are NOT my strongest areas:)

I am pretty much a quitter. When things get tough or require some effort, I really have no desire to do them anymore. This, I know is an awful trait that I need to find a way to change. I wonder what other people have inside of them that makes them so devoted and willing to work so hard and why I donʻt. I try to remember before I started taking meds if I had that drive, sometimes I even stop taking them to see if that is it, but that never ends well;) I wonder if it is because I have never been pushed hard enough or needed to work for what I needed or really for what I want. Whatever the reason, I want to change it. I want to "want" enough to follow through, to work hard, to put my all into something, I just donʻt know how to get started.