When?

I've spent the past 18-24 months in what I imagine HELL to be. My father's nearly 4 year battle with lung cancer entered the final stages then and in April of last year the cancer won. That has set the tone for my life and since then I have not been able to get my head-above-water. Even after both shoes dropped and I thought things HAD to get better, they didn't, they haven't. Everything is a fight with the monsters. They don't want to help with anything and they have all taken on my anxiety disorder. The husband's job has been in constant turmoil and our neighborhood sucks(makes Stepford look fun)! All of these has done wonders for my fibromylgia and my desire to conquer the world is gone. Now I'm happy if I can conquer a shower on any given day. I'm down and out and defeated.