Monday, February 16, 2009

The Perfect Storm

To recap for anyone just joining, I am a 33 year old mother of three that suffers from anxiety and depression. My days range from good to really bad and sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there is not. I take medication daily to try to remain balanced and have "extra" meds for the days things are really bad. I have been better for the the past couple of years(not to say that times have always been good:)but things have not gotten too bad in awhile.

This week however the "Perfect Storm" has occurred in my world of stress and anxiety. First, my husband has been working an insane amount of hours leaving me to tend to the monsters alone from sun up to sun down. Second, we have been forced to deal with the(incompetent) school the past few weeks for Killi. Third, I am awaiting my tax return and payday so I am stressed about money(because really, I could have an endless supply and still stress). Fourth, i am falling behind in house and school work. Fifth, I ran out of Lexapro 3 days ago and when I tried to pick it up it was $50, WTF!!! And the cherry-on-to was PMS! Rarely am I (un)lucky enough to create such a "Perfect Storm".

Because of all this, the sound of the monsters voices is driving me nuts! Them touching me is making my skin crawl. Avoiding Ben is all that is stopping me from yelling at him and trying to formulate a productive plan is unfathomable. If I could sit in bed, eat chocolate and cry all day I would. I keep pushing things off hoping they will not be waiting for me tomorrow, but they are and I still can not figure out how to deal with them. Logically I know I just need to switch the laundry, but I cannot make my body get there, there are too many other thoughts in the way!

I hope with my meds back and Friday coming that I can convince myself that this stress in irrational and get back on track. Hoping is all I have the ability to do right now!

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