1 am

It is 1 and I am up! I should be asleep, but I am not. There is no reason and I am not doing anything even remotely productive. I am watching a show about The Seven Deadly Sins, which I have to say is not encouraging me to believe in the Catholicism that I am trying so hard to find my way back to. I am on my second episode now, the first was on Lust, this one Envy. What I am learning is that there is absolutely NO religious basis for these things to be sins, they were created as such by society. Now, I am not saying their is anything wrong with society having moral standards, but boy is it a cop-out to stand behind religion. Anyway, I digress into babble so I should sign-off. I took some meds and hopefully they will kick in soon and I will make it to bed soon, otherwise you will hear from me again tonight, unfortunately:)

God, I Hate Winter

Although the weather has not been bad here the past two days, two days does not make up for the cold,rainy days there have been. I know that there are many out there that don't believe that S.A.D.(Seasonal affective disorder) Is a REAL thing, it is and I am a sufferer!

Every Fall, I think I will be able to make it through the winter without feeling blue, but a few weeks of the cold, gray days and I am right back to it! Tired, grouchy, sluggish and wishing I could stay in until Spring! Wait, maybe it is not S.A.D., maybe I am just meant to hibernate:) Perhaps I could arrange that with my family, I go to bed the Friday after Thanksgiving and get up Easter Sunday(or on my Birthday, whichever comes first:)

I'll let you know how that conversation goes!

And to All, I wish you a Happy and Safe New Year!

A New Year

My resolutions for last year did NOT pan-out at all, so this year I am just not making any:) and here's why, why I commit to doing something, I really want to accomplish it and when I don't i just feel bad about myself. Sure, if I had devoted more time and effort into last years resolutions, I could have done it, but I didn't.

What I did accomplish in the last year was finishing my college degree and starting my masters, got two kids settled into a new school, got Maggie almost happy going to preschool and was the best wife and mother I could be. For me that was enough. Sure there was more I hoped to do, but many days life got in the way but it was fun and I wouldn't change any of it.

Now as 2009 approaches, the resolution I will make is to enjoy the New Year!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

My Ass! The song should sing, It's the most Stressful time of the year! In the past week, one friend of mine was diagnosed with migraines another was in the hospital for chest pains. I cannot sleep and Becca's not sleeping much better, we are thinking of getting some walkie-talkies to entertain ourselves at night:) My mother is depressed. My sister too(although her's has more to due with pictures from the past).

All I know is that while it is a wonderful time of the year, it is also very stressful.

Winter, Church and Other Odds-N-Ends...

It has been about six months since we started attending church and the kids started RE, and I have to admit that I am finding myself moving further away from Catholicism than towards it. In fairness to the Catholic church, it is not them, but Christianity in general. As I sit at mass and listen to the sermons, I find myself back at square one questioning how insane it all is, not to mention abit cultish. By the end of mass, all I can think about is who is this different from other religions and what makes this one right. Why are Christians right and not Jews or Muslims, Hindus or Buddhists? What makes Christians any less insane than the people in Waco,TX or those other people that killed themselves over the comet in CA? Now, I know there are plenty of people out there that would think my questions are insane and maybe they are, but I cannot blindly follow a religion. I do not have the "faith" like others do. I need to see something to believe. Really, there is no other area of life that we ask people to just "blindly" follow and they are thought to be sane- Why then religion?

I could continue all day on this topic, but I won't I will move onto my winter depression. I hate the nasty gray sky of winter we have here. It makes me sad and depressed and not want to leave my house! And sure I suffer from depression in the summer too, but not like the winter! It is awful and January and February are the worst.If I could just find a way to move the sun inside, I'd be great.

I have almost everything ready for the holidays and I am happy to be visiting family and to have a week at home with the kids. I hope we get alot of vegging in and maybe a few trips to area sites, with the kids in school we don't get downtown much:( And downtown DC in the summer is hot and crowded so, we don't go then either:)

A Change of Plans

I am finding that no matter how well I plan my day out, it all falls apart when the monsters get home from school. After picking them up from school, we walk in the door around 4pm, bedtime starts at 7(Maggie), 7:30(Killi)& 8(Declan). During those 3/4 hours Homework needs to get done, dinner needs to be cooked,eaten &cleaned up, showers taken, clothes laid out, lunches made and a bedtime story or two(when we can fit it in). I have been falling short here so I have decided that I am dedicating ALL of that time(from 4-7)to my monsters. I will not be answering the phone or checking email, watching tv or my homework, I am going to do homework and have dinner and play and read and anything else we have time for.

I know that this is something I should have been doing for a long time, but I am alittle slow sometimes and just figured it out:) I am hopeful this time(and my undivided attention:) will end some of the fighting and crying and yelling we have been have here during that time.

This time has always been my most difficult as a mother, I am tired, they're tired, but I think this might make it better. I know it isn't going to be perfect, but hopefully a start.

So, if you need to get in-touch with me, you'll need to do it before 3:15 or after 7.

Quick Update-

I went to the doctor this afternoon and I have a "new" but not as bad(so far) bug as the last one. I was given another drug that is said to kill EVERYTHING and I hope that is true. I don't feel near as bad as I did a few weeks ago, I am mostly tired and run down. The new drugs are were very expensive, we were out 35.00 for 7 pills and the insurance company shelled out an additional 250.00, for that price it better be a wonder drug:)

There is alot to get done here this weekend, but I hope my family remains understanding about how much I can do. So far they've been great!

Not Again!

I know you're not going to believe me and I can hardly bring myself to write it but I am on my way back to the doctor this afternoon. I have a new cough, a runny nose and a gooey eye(that was crusted over this morning). I am not sure how to take this latest illness, mostly I want to cry, I haven't yet but only because of the headache I know I will get from it.

I am hopeful that the doctor will help me and that I will be on the mend for the weekend. We need a Christmas Tree tomorrow and Sunday is Husband's birthday. I a sure the last thing he wants as a gift is to get sick or to have to take care of his wife:)

So, I will go to the doctor and I will be well in no time!

Tired

Did I ever have a bad night's sleep last night. It was full of tossing and turning and crazy, crazy dreams. If I wasn't so embarrassed by the dreams, I would share them with you for a much deserved laugh:) I did finally fall asleep around 3am and Maggie kindly woke me up at 7am. Right now I am tired, I know the day will be long as the monsters have CCD this evening. The only positive I have going for me is leftovers for dinner:) I also have little on my HAVE-TO list,there is alot on my WANT-TO list, but that can always wait:)