FIRED!

That's how I'm feeling right now. I feel like tomorrow morning will come and I will lose the job I have had for the past 9 years. The job of primary care-giver for my children will no longer be mine. Starting tomorrow all three of them will be spending the majority of their weekdays with strangers instead of with me.

FIRED! I am getting fired! This is not how I saw this playing-out. I had two different scenarios in mind. In the first one I expected myself to be sobbing uncontrollably at the idea of sending my last baby out the door for ALL DAY SCHOOL! In the second, I saw myself beyond excited at the thought of having time for myself for the first time in 9 years. Yet, I feel neither. I feel FIRED!

For the past 9 years I have done the only job I ever wanted and now I am being fired, okay maybe not fired but definitely demoted. I am being sent to the closet!

I will miss the monsters when they go off to school tomorrow and I will be sad, but mostly I wonder what I am going to do all day. And when I really think about it, I know that there will be plenty to keep me busy, but it is still a new job. I am just not sure I want a new job.