Enlightened.

While on the phone with a friend this morning I was given a different view on Catholic Faith and my continued search of what is "real". Most people who know me/us know that as a family we attend Catholic Church and the monsters attend CCD weekly. You also know that I went back Catholic, which is what I was raised, because I found it comfortable. There are plenty of things I disagree with in the Catholic Doctrine and there are many unanswered questions I have; but wanting to have my children receive religious education and talking honestly & openly with my priest, I decided I could have a home at St. Francis if I wanted it for myself and my family. Now we are there, attending mass & CCD regularly. Some weeks we go to mass and I find I leave annoyed and/or angry about the message for the week, but I know that is alright because at the very least I have opened my mind and I am thinking about what I heard. I admit, there are still some weeks I leave I disagree so strongly with what was taught that I wonder what I am doing there:)

One question I ponder regularly is about people suffering from disease; aids, cancer, depression, polio, autism, truly this list could go on for pages, but I think you get the point:) I wonder, if God is so good and powerful, would he not cure these people or eliminate disease? Today I have an answer that I am almost willing to accept. The answer given: That God has chosen a path for those people, who are suffering, to live a life similar to his. A life that may seem difficult here on Earth as Jesusʻ life was when he was beaten, tortured & crucified. Jesus lived that life to help others and was rewarded by ascending to Heaven and so maybe the suffering on Earth is just that for those with disease. Maybe God has chosen those people to suffer because he believes they can and he knows that others will learn and be touched by that. And then for their suffering on Earth they too are rewarded with a seat in Heaven. A seat that is there waiting for them as Jesusʻ waited for him.

I donʻt know if this is true or not, but I know that it is more than I had to go on. As I have been very personally touched by cancer recently through friends and family, I want something to hold on to. Hope. Peace. Hell, maybe it is finally FAITH. I am not sure how long I can keep this thought, but I know I have it now and thatʻs enough for now.