The Perfect Family

In my mind the "perfect family" would be a mix of early colonial American Housing(everyone stuffed into a one room log cabin), the 1950ʻs "Leave It To Beaver" (Dadʻs commute was 10mins and mom had fresh cookies every afternoon) & all the technologies American family can enjoy today. I wish my extended family all lived in the same town and that we had family dinners every Sunday after church. Holidays would last days and include aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws and anyone else that needed a place to go. Thatʻs NOT my family. To start, I live 30 miles from my nearest relative & he is a second cousin that I see more often when I travel 5 hours back to NJ than I do here. The remaining majority of my family is spread across the Eastern Seaboard. Five hours one way and fifteen the other but there are those few that "broke away" and flowed West. Most of my family I go years without seeing, you know the wedding & funeral crowd, that is our relationship now. This is not what I imagined my family to look like; me, my husband and children living hundreds of miles from our parents and siblings. With little to no relationship with the cousins I grew up with as best-friends and hardly knowing my nieces & nephews, but that is what I have. As I move from Thanksgiving that was spent at home, just the five of us, I hope that Christmas and the coming year will find me closer to this "Perfect Family" I think I want:)

Happy for the Weekend

I may be the only person that willingly rises early on Saturday & Sunday morning. 6:30am, I am up letting the dogs out, calling my mom, cleaning up and enjoying the quiet in the house. Sure I have the house to myself ALL week from 845-330, but itʻs just not the same. During the week I have to get up, out of bed and TRY to get three grouchy monsters showered & out the door. Not on the weekends. On the weekends I get to enjoy a slow morning, quiet time with my mom and I have the added bonus of the monsters waking when THEY want and being happy most of the day! Maybe that is what makes weekends so good for me, time spent with a HAPPY Family, MY happy family. My well rested, un-rushed family. Although I am not sure how I married a night owl, had three kids and I am the ONLY morning person in the family:) Most nights now I am in bed asleep before ALL of them! Itʻs over now, I here a monster stirring...It is 915 so I guess I cannot be too disappointed:)

Who Are My "People"

This morning I was texting with my mom and we starting talking about how few "people" we we have in our lives. What I noticed is that neither of us have many "people" anymore. The other thing I noticed is that the past 6 months has really shed a light on what kind of "people" I want in my life and what to give my time to. Because Time is the one thing you can never get back, I donʻt want to waste a single moment on people that donʻt deserve it. Mortality is a scary thought, but a much needed one every so often. When it gives you that "Why am I doing this" thought, it is time to take a look. So I did. Thank You to MY "People"!

Itʻs Not Personal-

What does that even mean? Tell me then how one is to take rude, mean ,self-involved people if not personal? As a person that has bad days and mood swings, I know I can take things out on the wrong person, but I still would NOT tell them not to take it personally. You should take it personally. Take it personally that someone either thinks so much of you that you are a safe place for them to let-off-steam or that they think so LITTLE of you that treating you like total and complete CRAP makes them feel like a bigger person. Take it either way, but either way it is personal.

And Today With the Real Housewives of AH...

Explain to me how people that have not spoken to you for months, except to put you down or ask you for something have the nerve to sit with you for 2 hours as if youʻre bffs? Well, sometimes we were bffs & other times it was as if we were meeting for the very first time. Itʻs interesting when these are people that you spent day after day with for some time. So, you sit there wondering when you should speak and what you should speak to. Do you make small-talk? Do you just go straight to business? Such decisions. I decided to keep to business without sarcasm, except when the options were between sarcasm & slapping:) I left the meeting with more questions than answers, tighter shoulders, a sore back and a headache. I guess thatʻs progress, there were no tears and the anger was now just stress. When it was over I picked the monsters up & was almost happy to hear them fight on the way home, all the things that cam out of theirs mouths were things I had wished I could have said at my meeting. Things like "Youʻre a stupid head" and "I hate you" and my favorite "DONʻT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN" to be a kid again. Hell, who am I kidding I would call my brother or sister up right now and do the same thing after a bad day! One of the best gifts my parents ever gave me, my brother & sister. Built in punching-bags for life!LOL!

Mother's Day

Today was Mother's Day. I spent mine with the monsters & my Hunna. It was a quiet day. We didn't do anything special. There was some fighting amongst the monsters. Killian gave me extra hugs. Declan asked what he could do to help me all day & Maggie read to me. It was a nice day.

It does seem that the week to follow will bring more drama for the reality show I now live in "The Real Housewives of AH" & let me tell you that the OC, NY & NJ have nothing on this cast. This is the "Bible Belt" version wherein the majority of the cast claim to be Great Christians while lying, cheating, gossiping and bullying yet they all head to mass every week:) It is quite an adventure. I think I will start sharing the cast & story lines with all of you. It is wild & so unbelievable! I'll have to give some thought to this:)

Back to the gym tomorrow! My foot is feeling better. I'm happy about that.

Iʻm a Nobody...

I think Emily Dickinson said it best in her poem "Iʻm a nobody, who are you?" I am a NOBODY to most of the worldʻs 7B people and thatʻs okay with me! The only people I want to be a "somebody" to are the ones that call me Mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt or friend. "Friend" that is a tricky one. For this post I will use this definition: A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. To be called a friend one should possess ALL three of these qualities, not just 1 or 2 BUT ALL 3! And when a "friend" possess all three of those qualities are they someone worthy & willing to have me as a somebody in their life. Still there are others that I am a "nobody" to that claim to know who I am and what I feel. People that have built an entire persona for a "nobody" in their world. How does that happen? Why does it happen? Do people have a need to generate a "somebody" for their own security? Do they do it for greed? fame? self-worth? I donʻt think I understand why some people need a "somebody" that isnʻt real, that they have created. A "somebody" that they seem determine to build-up just for the chance to tear them down and watch them crumble. For a "nobody" here and there, they want so much to be a "somebody" that they will compromise themselves & those in their life to be a "somebody" until one day they wake up a realize they have NOBODY! Not this "nobody" I have my somebodies and plan to keep them & myself happily in our bog:)

And It's Sunday

Sunday Night after an extend weekend with some or all of my family always leaves me dreading Monday Morning. When the weekends are just quick, busy, action-packed 2 day deals, I look forward to Monday Morning when I will have the house quiet & a little time to breathe. After long weekends I find that we have just gotten into a groove then BAM everyone leaves me! Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to do around here tomorrow. Piles of books to read, research to pull, presentations to put together and that's just for MY school, I didnʻt even touch on the housework or hours of volunteer opportunities calling my name:) So yeah, I have a full plate with plenty to keep me busy while they are all gone, but I will miss them. Then I will pick the monsters up from school & they will be tired & cranky and the husband will get home after 7 and be grouchy and I will have to try REALLY hard to remember that I missed them when they left me that morning:)

House Cleaning, Politics & Whatever

Yes, I know, I know my promises to "blog everyday" have again not been kept. I try but I find myself afraid that I might offend someone or lose a friend over a post, Iʻm done with that now. I am done worrying about people liking me for my opinions. If you donʻt want to know what I think, donʻt read my blog. I donʻt pretend to be "right" all the time or ever for that matter. I just want a place to have MY opinion at the moment I write it. That could change in an hour, a day or never, there is just no way to know:) Today I "cleaned out" my facebook friend-list, I like to do that. Kept my "forever" friends, my family & the very few newbies I enjoy and trust (and that list is SHORT:) Life is filled with too many bite-your-tounge moments that FB should NOT have to be one of them. So for me it will no longer be. For me fb will be a safe place with good friends. Where I can bitch about my bad day or an annoying note from my kidʻs teacher and not worry that I am going to offend or said "teacher" will find out. ʻCuz yeah, those things have happened to me:) And ya know what else, I am did NOT vote for President Obama 4 yrs ago and I am not going to in November either. Iʻm just NOT a Democrat. I am not saying NEVER but alot would have to change for me to move to that extreme. Iʻm not happy with ALL that the Republican Party stands, but I know I am NOT a Democrat. What I do think is that the past 4 years has brought a greater divide among Americans in race, wealth and education than we had seen in some time and I will not support the man I believe is responsible for that divide, President Obama. Who will I vote for? I donʻt know yet, but I will let you know when I know! Because unlike some folks, I believe if someone is worth your vote they are also worth you standing TALL & saying so. But what the hell do I know, not much thatʻs for sure. Thatʻs why I have only this small, free space to give my opinion on:)

Yes, I know!

I know that I keep promising to "blog" everyday and then I donʻt. I have no excuse, I just SUCK! Mostly the lack of blogging is because I have not been on my computer much (I mostly use my iPad or iPhone) and itʻs not as easy to blog on them. I mean I can & do sometimes, but it is just not AS easy. Of course now it has been weeks since blogging so Iʻm just gonna throw everything out there with little rhythm or reason to it.

Transitioning with the monsters right now. Trying to move them (and my house) from "baby" mess all the time into organized home that guest can come into. It seems that I am starting this too late though. My kids seem to think that trash can be placed anywhere in the house & that a magic fair follows behind them to tidy-up. The "magic fair" has decided on new chores...housework chores! Cleaning bedrooms, a bathroom & using a vacuum. And trust me, this leaves me plenty to still do. Need to through that in since my mother thinks I will do nothing & just make those poor babies do all the work. This from the woman that used to make me (and my brother & sister) come home from school everyday and clean the house!!! WHATEVER!!! These monsters need to start gaining some respect for what it takes to up-keep the house.

It also isnʻt helping that all three of the monsters have decided that they are no longer "little kids" but instead "young people". For my children this includes such things as "mood swings" "sharing opinions" and the biggest "NO LONGER ORDERING FROM THE KIDʻS MENU"!!!! Killing me I tell you! I could do the baby years, this is making me feel like I am continually being pounded by waves and cannot make it to the shore!

I am finally, SLOWLY, getting back to the gym after surgery at the end of January. I hope I can make it every-other-day this week & then maybe more after Spring Break. Just as the monsters get out of school for summer I should be back up to 5 times a week for an hour and a half. And then they will fight with me about having to go into the kidsRoom for three months:)

Tomorrow will take me back to the doctor to adjust my meds. Things are NOT working right now. Not that me blogging at 345am didnʻt give it away!LMAO!

My Spring Semester for school starts today and I really need to be focused for the next 10 weeks before the monsters get out for the Summer & I have NO time for school:) I have almost completed my Masters program & I am getting excited about it. I just hope I can find some work when Iʻm done. Those Student Loans are NOT going to pay themselves.

Iʻd like to talk politics but there are just no positives I can see, so Iʻll just go with the "donʻt ask, donʻt tell) policy. I will not vote for President Obama but Gov. Romney does nothing for me. Maybe there will be a horse that jumps in at the end. How exciting that would be.

All Around Annoyed.

This morning I waited at the doctorʻs office for over an hour before I was brought back. then it too another 45 mins to see the doctor. That annoys me.

What has also set me ablaze this morning is the inability people have to recognize others opinions. I hear so much talk about "free speech" yet when your opinion is not the "popular" one or the PC one or the majorityʻs people demonize you, call for apologies and ask for laws to be changed to ban your opinion.

Because someone is seemingly ignorant to the majority does not mean that they are no longer entitled to free speech.

Because someone is insensitive does not mean that they are not entitled to free speech.

Because someone thinks differently than you do, does NOT mean then are not entitled to free speech.

Does it suck when people use derogatory terms towards someone you care about? Sure it does, but that is not harassment nor is it bullying. And it should not be illegal. And people should not be persecuted for their opinions. Is that NOT what Free Speech is about?

If an author writes a book on a subject you do not like or find offensive; donʻt buy the book.

If a politician is on the other-side of abortion than you; donʻt vote for them.

If an actor is on the opposing side of same-sex marriage; donʻt watch their movies.

What you should do however is let them have their opinion. Simply saying you disagree with that opinion is enough! Because just like you, the people on the other-side-of-the-coin are entitled to safely express their opinions!

And people- SUCK IT UP! Stop whining and crying about the little stuff because people stop listening. We are turning into a Nation that "Cries Wolf" ALL DAY LONG!!! Focus on the big picture.

Maybe Not EVERYDAY...

Okay, I am not having much luck with the EVERYDAY blogging but I am trying to get better:) Some days I donʻt blog because I cannot seem to find the time and other days it is because I find it difficult to find anything night to say so I say nothing at all. Today I donʻt have much nice to say but I do feel like I would like to get it out.

I have lived a few places throughout my life. As a child I went from NJ to VA to SC back to NJ then to NY and back to NJ where I stayed from the age of about 5 until I was 18. So the best years of my childhood were spent in NJ, mostly in Belmar, with a great group of friends that will forever be a "family" to me. At 18 I moved to FL then back to NJ then it was off to Washington,DC @ 20. Since then I have lived in at a few different addresses in DC then with kids came the move out to the VA suburbs. My last move was 7 years ago making this by far the longest I have been at the same place since NJ. The experience here has been VERY different from the one I had in NJ and not in a positive way.

As I mentioned, Belmar, New Jersey will always be "home" to me. Sure, the town has changed and going back I could never find what was once there. Most of the families that had been there for generations are gone. The kids I grew up with have like me moved out of town or out of the state for work or never came home after college. Their parents have retired out of state or have passed away. Nevertheless, that is still home, they are still "home". They are the folks you run into and you can pick up a conversation right where you left it 20 years ago. They are the people the "get" your sarcasm in print:) The people that are always there to love & support you.

Now I have been here in VA, in my neighborhood, in my house for 7yrs, about half the time I spent in NJ. And at this point, 7 yrs into it I donʻt think I have made any of the connections I had in NJ. In 7 years I have been part of more "cliques" or clubs or groups of "friends" then I could imagine existed. It is not just this way for me but also for my kids & husband. It is soooooo strange. I wonder how the people here sit at the same pool with one another ALL summer but never talk. Kids the same age & often in the same class at school donʻt play together...Hell, they donʻt even say HELLO! Imagine with me if you will sitting on 8th Ave beach with our mothers and just walking by without at least saying hello, with our parents just ignoring one another. Itʻs just CRAZY! Itʻs sad.

I love my NJ Family. I want to love a VA family. Hell I would be happy not to have a revolving door of "friends" based on what you can "do" for them. Why is the common group of being parents of children the same age & living in the same neighborhood no longer enough to be polite to one another?

I hope that others of you have had better experiences wherever you are living now.

Again Itʻs Time To Reorganize

I know, it has been FOREVER! I have sat here so many times and started so many posts but nothing has been published in MONTHS! Blogging has kinda become like my house...it is so far gone I donʻt know where to start:) Tonight I am starting here & tomorrow with the house!

About a month ago I had to have surgery on my foot & EVERYTHING in my life has been neglected nothing more so than my house. It is so messy. Clutter everywhere! A dining room with no table that can be seen. A bedroom with clothes piled around it but nothing but away. Floors that need to be mopped. Bathrooms that need a REAL scrubbing. And the biggest problem...PAPER! There is sooooo much paper around my house I have no idea how to start to get rid of it! I could not find an important paper it I needed to. My poor baby came home from school today upset because I have not returned ANY of the THREE permission slips she has brought home for her field trip next week. I found that paper today- The due date NO LATE THAN 2/17, Clearly that did NOT happen.

Now for my dilemma I HATE to throw my kids "work" away but I am not really sure how to keep it. Our house is not big, a modest 1600sqft ranch and with 5 humans, 2 dogs & some fish thatʻs not a whole lot of room so I have to "make" space. It is time to put some money into storage & home beautification:) Where to start, where to start???? I would take before pictures for yʻall but I would have to clean up alittle before I could invite you in;-) But maybe I will be able to post the after pictures here.

I am signing off to browse storage solutions. Hereʻs hoping I can get my ass in gear & reorganize my life to include de-cluttering & blogging-