There Goes My Life...

I wish I could find a way to release the stress I carry throughout the day. I should walk on nice days and meditate on rainy days. I don't want to walk fast, just a stroll, 30mins of peace. I would like to force myself to clear my mind and let go of all that is happening in my world. I am just not sure I know how to do this. I have tried meditation in the past, but always find it so difficult to completely clear my mind. Can it be done? There is rarely a moment that goes by that my mind is not racing with millions of things. The kids, husband, household needs, friends, family, school, PTO there is always someone or something to think about. And I am happy to have so much going on, it is always fun and exciting, I just wish I could let it go for a few minutes.

I get overwhelmed by life I tend to soak-up the negative and forget that there is so much more positive that negative in my life. It is so easy to focus on the negative. I want to only hold on to the positives! No more negative in my life! Happy Family, Happy Friends and Happy Thoughts, that is what I will spend my 30 minutes focusing on.

I am so lucky to have this great life and now I am going to start remembering that! I want to enjoy more. Enjoy everything to the fullest extent! I am going to start really looking at things before I get upset or angry about them. I am going to enjoy the ride! Every moment I have with my family and friends I will be grateful. And I am going to remember to smile! When I was in Elementary School, my teachers always told my mom what a beautiful and infectious smile I had and I need to start doing it more! Smiling makes me happy when I do it and I know that it makes other people smile with me! So, I will smile:) I will smile and remember how wonderful my life is and refocus on what REALLY matters!

Trying New Things!

In the past year I have made some changes in my life. Most of them small and not really drastic, just "new" for me. It started with lunch with a friend that turned into a PTO board position, from there I have just kept joining:) PTO was not as surprising as my involvement in local politics. My husband has always warned not to get involved in local politics(too petty:)but as the very good listener I am, I ignored him and have become involved. Then yesterday, I decided to plunge into the world of the evening lions.

Over the past few years I have been thinking and trying to become more involved in my community and now I am done thinking and am jumping in! Although, I may be jumping head first;-)

For now I am enjoying it. Meeting TONS of new people, which is always fun for me:) I am also happy that I am trying to do a little for my community. I am looking forward to my new adventures, a bit nervous, but excited.

So now with 3 monsters, a husband, home, family & friends, PTO, Lions and a Masters Program, I should be good and busy for awhile! I hope the fun continues!

Yeah For Me!!!!

I am happy to report that I have been accepted into the Masters Program of my dreams! I am so very excited! The program can be tailored to my liking. It has been a long time coming. I completed my undergrad online and it took me a very, very long time and the subject was business, which is not an area I have much interest in, but the program was convenient with three little monsters to look after.

Now it is my turn! My turn to do something I want to do while still being at home with the monsters! Now, what to study???? The possibilities are endless!!!!

If At First...

This week I applied to another graduate school. I am three classes in to the program at one school and I hate it! I am not enjoying the classes at all! The subject matter is not keeping my interest and I want a change! I entered a program for school counseling as I thought it would be a good career, but as I said, it was not interesting at all! The program I applied for this week I am very excited about! It is a history and culture program and the only thing that would make the program completely perfect is if they would have thrown-in religion:) History has always been my first love. I can still recite most of the things I was taught in 6,7 and 8th grade by Mr. Harvey, The Articles of Confederation have been the A of C since then:) Now living in the DC Metro area there is so much history everywhere I turn. I really hope this program works out and I will have a chance to pursue this adventure!

Really Trying

I have really been putting forth great effort trying to make some changes around here. Trying to waste less money, eat better foods, help the Monsters understand that money doesn't grow on trees:), and over all focus more on MY family.

To get started on this, I decided to precook some meals for the week. That should help with both eating better and saving money. So, yesterday I spent the day cooking!and mostly from scratch! I made chicken parm for last nights dinner, two trays of ziti to freeze and Chile that cooked all night in the crock-pot which half became dinner tonight and the other half got frozen for another meal! This is a big deal for me and I hope I am able to continue it!

I also have started back to a bedtime routine for the kids. Last night was the first night and it was a long night! Lots of Monsters traveling out for kisses and hugs and drinks and, and, and! They did get to sleep finally around 10pm, and I woke them at 8am. They were tired today and Mag was asleep within 20mins of her tuck-in tonight:) Hopefully this is a good sign and we can get back in the groove!

I am feeling like life is moving too fast! And everybody is rushing to keep-up. I have decided that I don't need to finish first anymore. Now I just want to enjoy the ride. I want the Monsters to know is really important in life! I hope it works!

Remembering

While on vacation last week, I had a dream about a boy I know that committed suicide during my Senior Year of High School. I am not sure what triggered the dream and subsequent memories, but it had been a long time since I thought so much about him.

His name was Jason. I had know him most of my life, my aunt and his mom were very good friends so I saw him often. Once I started school, we were in class together. He was my partner for kindergarten graduation:) I invited him to my birthday every year(when I was young;-) and for my 8th birthday he gave me a silver butterfly bracelet and necklace. I loved it! When I was in 5th grade, I switched schools and saw him less but as I said our families were friends and town was small, so it was never long before I saw him again. I remember often running into him at the boardwalk, he was always riding is dirt-bike up there on summer evenings.

I remember the last time I saw him, it was at the Quick-Check near my house, he stopped(on his bike)on his way home from the beach. We said "hi" asked about each others families and then went on our separate ways. A few months after that meeting, in the early morning, my aunt called to tell my mother the news of his passing. He had written a note, taken his father's gun and ended his life.

I remember being sad when it happened, but I think I am sadder now looking back on it. I am sad for his parents and brother who have had to go on without him. Sad for him that he could see no other way.

I am not sure what made me think of him, but I glad I did. I am glad to remember our time together and also see how lucky I am for being here right now.

RIP Jason.

Simplifying Life

I must be getting old or maybe I have stumbled on some wisdom:) Things in my world are changing. Big Changes. Good Changes. Difficult Changes. Changes none-the-less. Things that I thought were important no longer seem that way and the simply things in life are looking more appealing. Spending time with my family and friends(haha, friends:)Teaching my kids what is important in life, that is what I want to do!

We have a great deal going on activity wise in the Family and a schedule/routine will need to be found, but I also want to make Family Fun Time; camping,day trips, movie nights lots of quality bonding:)

I want to learn how to live in the moment, enjoy life! Change the way I prioritize things. Remember what is really important!

Wish me Luck!