me?

After finally feeling better the past few days, now I am completely on edge and making myself sick to my stomach! My nerves are SHOT! On total overload! I seriously don't know how much longer I can do this for. I am just making myself nutty!

I think I just need a break. I need to get away from here. I need the peace and quiet of NJ and my family(yes, I am aware that it sounds like an oxymoron:) I really do need to get away. Sometimes I find it very difficult to play nice with everyone. I know, hard to believe, but it's true. Right now I have my hat in a few different rings and my Virginia, PTO/Soccer mom Emily is having to spend way to much time out and about! I need some time for the sassy,fresh NJ Emily to come out!

I grew and changed to fit the lifestyle that I was in, but I am not sure that is who I REALLY am. But I also don't think I am the girl I was when I left NJ at 21 years old, 13 years ago. I think that somewhere between the two is who I am and what I want. I am just not sure I if I can be that person and live "this" life.

I don't have time for my interests and hobbies(typing the word makes me laugh)because that time is used. I have kids that don't get enough of me. A husband that wants more too, but I cannot even find the time for reading, sleeping.

I am a weak person. I need to better organize my life and things would be better. Stick to a schedule. I don't, because I'm weak. I need to be stronger! I want to be stronger.