Where to start? I guess where I left-off last night, People are RUDE and IGNORANT! But, to add to that, I have added awful mother to my resume.
I cannot stand when people comment to my blog or send me emails anonymously, to be fair, these comments/emails only bother me when they are mean, ignorant or attack my opinion. That is not to say that I mind when people comment with mean, nasty and ill-informed comments, just be man enough to sign your name or leave an email address/phone number something. I just think it is completely uncool to pretend to engage me in a debate, get me all jazzed-up and then walk away...so passive aggressive!(BTW- I am happy to take any kind, agreeable comments anytime, no names needed;-)
Now on to the bigger issue, my awful parenting skills! My girls have been so beyond bad there are no words to describe their behavior. Tonight we had a repeat of Saturday. Me screaming and yelling chasing them off to bed early. That is NOT why I feel like an awful mother though. I feel like an awful mother because I feel guilty for yelling at them and sending them to bed. I feel mean for ending their day that way. I am the worst disciplinarian in the world! I need to get over this FAST! These monsters are gonna eat me alive!
Oh, one more thing. After I chased the girls off to bed, they had the nerve to come and ask me if they could still watch tv before bed!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Not Always Easy, But Try And Follow
Often lately I feel I would like to stay home and in my bedroom until Spring. I am not sure if this is just because I have gotten so used to being home-bound this month with the endless snow or I am just in a funk...or maybe both. Either way, I would be happy NOT to leave the house until the temps rise above 60 degrees and the sun is shining brightly!
Maybe it is not the snow or a funk, but the fact that there are so many people out there that completely lack common sense or any social skills. I am starting to believe that I must attract these people because there is NO way that there could be that many people out there like that, could there? You know the people I mean. The ones that look at you and tell you all the ways you could parent better or that you are a bad cook or ask personal/inappropriate questions in large groups of people. These are the people I encounter all to often. What is worse is that the majority of these people are well educated, successful people. How, I wonder did they get that way, with the social skills of a dog? Really, I am waiting to have my ass sniffed!
Is it just because I leave in such a melting pot? Where no one is from here or from the same place so their social skills are just different than mine? If that is the case though, I can say, growing up in Jersey wasn't all bad. And the social skills I learned have come in handy. For example, be nice to your neighbors and locals and treat the shit Benny's the way they treat you. When they insult you, laugh because the sentence didn't make sense:) Have their car towed because they think it is okay to block your driveway:) And when asked a question answer it honestly, such-as "Where's the Garden State?" ...Um, You're in it;-) So, in keeping those skills in mind I will start my week and remember the rules I learned; people are RUDE, IGNORANT and STUPID, but there is no way for me to avoid them forever and acting like they do means I cannot go home and laugh at them:)
So, tomorrow I will leave my room and house to engage the masses, but I will do it with a smile and a grain of salt, all the time remembering that if I drive EAST, I will reach the beach:)
Maybe it is not the snow or a funk, but the fact that there are so many people out there that completely lack common sense or any social skills. I am starting to believe that I must attract these people because there is NO way that there could be that many people out there like that, could there? You know the people I mean. The ones that look at you and tell you all the ways you could parent better or that you are a bad cook or ask personal/inappropriate questions in large groups of people. These are the people I encounter all to often. What is worse is that the majority of these people are well educated, successful people. How, I wonder did they get that way, with the social skills of a dog? Really, I am waiting to have my ass sniffed!
Is it just because I leave in such a melting pot? Where no one is from here or from the same place so their social skills are just different than mine? If that is the case though, I can say, growing up in Jersey wasn't all bad. And the social skills I learned have come in handy. For example, be nice to your neighbors and locals and treat the shit Benny's the way they treat you. When they insult you, laugh because the sentence didn't make sense:) Have their car towed because they think it is okay to block your driveway:) And when asked a question answer it honestly, such-as "Where's the Garden State?" ...Um, You're in it;-) So, in keeping those skills in mind I will start my week and remember the rules I learned; people are RUDE, IGNORANT and STUPID, but there is no way for me to avoid them forever and acting like they do means I cannot go home and laugh at them:)
So, tomorrow I will leave my room and house to engage the masses, but I will do it with a smile and a grain of salt, all the time remembering that if I drive EAST, I will reach the beach:)
Friday, February 19, 2010
And Another Thing...
There are so many little things that have been happening that I want to comment on and I have just not had a chance. Now I do, so here goes~
First, I am unhappy that Evan Bayh is retiring. One because I don't dislike his political views, but two and more upsetting to me is that he is leaving because he feels Washington is too partisan. I hate that because I think that the majority of Americans are pretty middle-of-the-road on most issues and fall left or right on a few. Instead, the two major political parties, find candidates to support and voters feel like they need to vote for the lesser of two evils and not someone that truly shares their views.
Next, Tiger Woods. I watched today. All I can say is that I hope he is sincere and if he is, Great! I will give him a second chance. I am really not feeling like he needs forgiveness from me, though. Hell, people have done things way worse than Tiger and never bothered to say sorry. Not that that is right, but I think the only people that Tiger needs to apologize to and gain forgiveness from are his family. The only person he broke a contract with was his wife! I mean sure, I guess if his sponsors had clauses on conduct, then maybe them, but not me! As a parent, I will still tell my kids that Tiger Woods was the Greatest Golfer of my lifetime and unlike athletes that use performance-enhancers, Tiger did not lie or cheat in his sport for personal gain. His mistakes were made in his personal life, in which he is entitled to. So maybe he is a shitty husband, but still a great golfer.
On to people. Most of the time I am not at all surprised by people. Unfortunately, I am not a person who finds it hard to see the bad in people;-) I also know that for as much as an Open Book as I am, people only let you know what they want you to know about them and I am fine with that up to a point. That point for me is when it places my child at risk, then I get pissed. For instance, I grew up in NJ and very few of my friends had guns in their houses. Not many people hunted and well, there were just not many guns. It never occurred to me that their were guns in their houses. However, raising kids in VA, that is very different, it seems EVERYONE has guns in their home, so I always ask before my kids go to a friends house. Mostly because my kids do not know about guns as we do not have them. I am not sure if my kids would pick them up and know it was real and NOT play with it, so I ask. What I don't ask though is about their home life. Do you beat your kids? Does your husband beat you? Are you nudists? Things of this nature never crossed my mind. These are things I thought I would know or just never assumed needed to be asked. Now I will ask. I am sure I would never get a straight answer, but I will start to ask. And I think that my kids will be going fewer places.
So, those are all my thoughts, enjoy;-)
First, I am unhappy that Evan Bayh is retiring. One because I don't dislike his political views, but two and more upsetting to me is that he is leaving because he feels Washington is too partisan. I hate that because I think that the majority of Americans are pretty middle-of-the-road on most issues and fall left or right on a few. Instead, the two major political parties, find candidates to support and voters feel like they need to vote for the lesser of two evils and not someone that truly shares their views.
Next, Tiger Woods. I watched today. All I can say is that I hope he is sincere and if he is, Great! I will give him a second chance. I am really not feeling like he needs forgiveness from me, though. Hell, people have done things way worse than Tiger and never bothered to say sorry. Not that that is right, but I think the only people that Tiger needs to apologize to and gain forgiveness from are his family. The only person he broke a contract with was his wife! I mean sure, I guess if his sponsors had clauses on conduct, then maybe them, but not me! As a parent, I will still tell my kids that Tiger Woods was the Greatest Golfer of my lifetime and unlike athletes that use performance-enhancers, Tiger did not lie or cheat in his sport for personal gain. His mistakes were made in his personal life, in which he is entitled to. So maybe he is a shitty husband, but still a great golfer.
On to people. Most of the time I am not at all surprised by people. Unfortunately, I am not a person who finds it hard to see the bad in people;-) I also know that for as much as an Open Book as I am, people only let you know what they want you to know about them and I am fine with that up to a point. That point for me is when it places my child at risk, then I get pissed. For instance, I grew up in NJ and very few of my friends had guns in their houses. Not many people hunted and well, there were just not many guns. It never occurred to me that their were guns in their houses. However, raising kids in VA, that is very different, it seems EVERYONE has guns in their home, so I always ask before my kids go to a friends house. Mostly because my kids do not know about guns as we do not have them. I am not sure if my kids would pick them up and know it was real and NOT play with it, so I ask. What I don't ask though is about their home life. Do you beat your kids? Does your husband beat you? Are you nudists? Things of this nature never crossed my mind. These are things I thought I would know or just never assumed needed to be asked. Now I will ask. I am sure I would never get a straight answer, but I will start to ask. And I think that my kids will be going fewer places.
So, those are all my thoughts, enjoy;-)
Monday, February 15, 2010
Seriously???
Skippy's getting married??? if you could have heard the way my mother cried at having not been invited!!!! She wonders what she ever did to deserve this treatment.It really is a shame that your father is dying and the only link he has to his blood family is being shunned for something she had nothing to do with!!! Congrats to skippy...... you know none of would have been able to attend, but certainly would have sent a nice gift!!!
That was the post made on my sister's facebook wall by my cousin. Clearly a cousin we are not very close to.
Now, let me explain the very disturbing points in this post:
1- We are really NOT close with this side of our family
2- The wedding is in NJ and they live in FL
3- The wedding was rescheduled for personal reasons and downsized significantly!
and 4- and the biggest problem I have is that I was not aware my father was DYING!!!
So, think about this, this crazy cousin posts that her mother is upset that my brother's wedding date has been changed and she learned of this on facebook; yet she thinks it is okay to inform us that our father is dying.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I would like to say that my father does have cancer, but that his doctors are very optimistic about curing his cancer or at least we thought until we read this post!!!! Not to mention that my father's medical status is somewhat personal and not something that my siblings and I discuss with random people. Not that we do not talk about it, but we let him decide how much goes up on facebook and he does share a lot, but again it is his status to share, not ours and surely NOT a cousin that does not know the ins-and-outs of his treatments or diagnosis!
Needless to say, I think it is CLEAR from this post why no invitation was sent, when the focus of this wedding was to have the people that Billy and Kelly love and that love them share this day not to add DRAMA to what is already a stressful time for our families.
That was the post made on my sister's facebook wall by my cousin. Clearly a cousin we are not very close to.
Now, let me explain the very disturbing points in this post:
1- We are really NOT close with this side of our family
2- The wedding is in NJ and they live in FL
3- The wedding was rescheduled for personal reasons and downsized significantly!
and 4- and the biggest problem I have is that I was not aware my father was DYING!!!
So, think about this, this crazy cousin posts that her mother is upset that my brother's wedding date has been changed and she learned of this on facebook; yet she thinks it is okay to inform us that our father is dying.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I would like to say that my father does have cancer, but that his doctors are very optimistic about curing his cancer or at least we thought until we read this post!!!! Not to mention that my father's medical status is somewhat personal and not something that my siblings and I discuss with random people. Not that we do not talk about it, but we let him decide how much goes up on facebook and he does share a lot, but again it is his status to share, not ours and surely NOT a cousin that does not know the ins-and-outs of his treatments or diagnosis!
Needless to say, I think it is CLEAR from this post why no invitation was sent, when the focus of this wedding was to have the people that Billy and Kelly love and that love them share this day not to add DRAMA to what is already a stressful time for our families.
Who Says You Can't Go Home?
I spent 20 years trying to get out of this place
I was looking for something I couldn't replace
I was running away from the only thing I've ever known...
and what I ran from was GOOD PIZZA:)
My trip to NJ did improve my attitude. Getting away from the house and seeing some people other than the five I live with was good! Spent time with family. Laughed. Ditched the monsters. Ate awesome food. And traffic didn't suck either way! A trip of near perfection! If only it had been beach weather, it would have been a prefect trip!
I was looking for something I couldn't replace
I was running away from the only thing I've ever known...
and what I ran from was GOOD PIZZA:)
My trip to NJ did improve my attitude. Getting away from the house and seeing some people other than the five I live with was good! Spent time with family. Laughed. Ditched the monsters. Ate awesome food. And traffic didn't suck either way! A trip of near perfection! If only it had been beach weather, it would have been a prefect trip!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Smokey sings...
People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
________________________________________________________________________________________
No more smiles here. I thought yesterday was just a down day, it seems the blues have followed me into today. I am not sure what has me down, I guess that's not true, I know and I also know that the thoughts weighing on me are not ones that I can do much about. The continued snow, unrest in the world, unsettled financial markets; throw on top of that worries I have for my family and all they are dealing with. My dad's cancer, my mom's craziness, the weight-of-the-world on my sister's shoulders and my brother's wedding. That is all before I get to my Perfect Little Crew of Monsters and a husband to worry about:)
None of these worries are new but for some reason, yesterday it all came flooding in at once and continues today. Sleep has not come easily the last few nights and I know that never helps the stress, but it does not seem to just be stress, there is also sadness. Anxiety and stress is one thing(with meds that help;-) but sadness is much harder to work past.
I am falling into a funk! Weeks on end of no schedule for the family. Days and days stuck in the house because of snow has caught-up with me. I need some new faces to look at. New conversations to have.
Hopefully this weekend will bring that with little-to-no self destruction:) I will report, hopefully with a new attitude, when I return:)
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
________________________________________________________________________________________
No more smiles here. I thought yesterday was just a down day, it seems the blues have followed me into today. I am not sure what has me down, I guess that's not true, I know and I also know that the thoughts weighing on me are not ones that I can do much about. The continued snow, unrest in the world, unsettled financial markets; throw on top of that worries I have for my family and all they are dealing with. My dad's cancer, my mom's craziness, the weight-of-the-world on my sister's shoulders and my brother's wedding. That is all before I get to my Perfect Little Crew of Monsters and a husband to worry about:)
None of these worries are new but for some reason, yesterday it all came flooding in at once and continues today. Sleep has not come easily the last few nights and I know that never helps the stress, but it does not seem to just be stress, there is also sadness. Anxiety and stress is one thing(with meds that help;-) but sadness is much harder to work past.
I am falling into a funk! Weeks on end of no schedule for the family. Days and days stuck in the house because of snow has caught-up with me. I need some new faces to look at. New conversations to have.
Hopefully this weekend will bring that with little-to-no self destruction:) I will report, hopefully with a new attitude, when I return:)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
What's New...
There is not much to report here. We were hit by another Blizzard last night and into today. That is the second one this week and our third since late December. We have about 30 inches of snow on the ground which brings our total for the season to over 50. That would be fine if our average was not just under 15. I am done with the snow! Schools are closed through Friday and Ben is home through Tuesday.
This morning I reached my breaking point when the news of Capt. Phil's death came to me. I do not know Phil personally, but he was my favorite captain and the Cornilla Maria my favorite vessel. I loved that his sons were out fishing with him and how much they loved each other. I feel sad for them. They lost their dad and he was only 53 years old. I am sure a lot of my sadness is more for myself then them as I watch my own father at the age of 56, battle stage 4 lung cancer. I hope not to feel the loss that they are feeling for a very long time. Nevertheless, between the snow that has trapped us in the house for the better part of two weeks, wishing I could be with my dad and Capt. Phil's passing, I broke down this morning. Crying made me feel a little better and when I was done, I cleaned the house up and shoveled.
After a morning like that, I was about done for the day. After I made lunch and did the dishes(because I cook 3 meals a day now, the washer gets run at least 3 times a day!)I headed into my bedroom, took a shower and vegged with Dirty Dancing. I always loved that movie. More I am sure because of my age when it come out then for the actual movie, nonetheless, I sat and watched and enjoyed it.
Now at almost midnight, I sit still feeling, bleh and hoping tomorrow will bring sunshine and melting. I am not sure how much longer I can endure family togetherness trapped in the house!
This morning I reached my breaking point when the news of Capt. Phil's death came to me. I do not know Phil personally, but he was my favorite captain and the Cornilla Maria my favorite vessel. I loved that his sons were out fishing with him and how much they loved each other. I feel sad for them. They lost their dad and he was only 53 years old. I am sure a lot of my sadness is more for myself then them as I watch my own father at the age of 56, battle stage 4 lung cancer. I hope not to feel the loss that they are feeling for a very long time. Nevertheless, between the snow that has trapped us in the house for the better part of two weeks, wishing I could be with my dad and Capt. Phil's passing, I broke down this morning. Crying made me feel a little better and when I was done, I cleaned the house up and shoveled.
After a morning like that, I was about done for the day. After I made lunch and did the dishes(because I cook 3 meals a day now, the washer gets run at least 3 times a day!)I headed into my bedroom, took a shower and vegged with Dirty Dancing. I always loved that movie. More I am sure because of my age when it come out then for the actual movie, nonetheless, I sat and watched and enjoyed it.
Now at almost midnight, I sit still feeling, bleh and hoping tomorrow will bring sunshine and melting. I am not sure how much longer I can endure family togetherness trapped in the house!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels...
wait, I already know! FOREVER feels like it being Feb.7th and your Monsters thinking that school is out for summer and NOT because of the weather but because school is NEVER open due to SNOW(seriously, Maggie is working on week 3 of no school and Declan and Killi went for 4 hours total last week)! Add to the "FOREVER" feeling that your husband has been home since 2pm Friday after being home all day Wednesday!
I really do love my family, but even I have reached my max on "days trap in the house together". If we had been smart, we would have packed-up Thursday and headed down to OBX! We didn't and now we are paying for it. We could have had a four-day trip to the beach and lost no vacation time for Ben or the kids. Instead we sit here. Sit here in COLD, ICY Virginia where schools are closed through Tuesday and the Federal Government is closed. We sit and wait for the next storm to begin on Tuesday that is expected to bring us up to another 5 inches; which will close school for Wednesday and maybe Thursday.
I would be much happier watching a "Big Orange Ball, Sinking in The Water"! That is how FOREVER should feel!
I really do love my family, but even I have reached my max on "days trap in the house together". If we had been smart, we would have packed-up Thursday and headed down to OBX! We didn't and now we are paying for it. We could have had a four-day trip to the beach and lost no vacation time for Ben or the kids. Instead we sit here. Sit here in COLD, ICY Virginia where schools are closed through Tuesday and the Federal Government is closed. We sit and wait for the next storm to begin on Tuesday that is expected to bring us up to another 5 inches; which will close school for Wednesday and maybe Thursday.
I would be much happier watching a "Big Orange Ball, Sinking in The Water"! That is how FOREVER should feel!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Only Me!
I think I have always been forthcoming in disclosing my bitchiness. I do not disclose it as a good or a bad thing, just that I am. By bitchiness I mean that I can be abrupt, straight-forward, pushy, opinionated and don't mind sharing all those things:) What I really do not like is for other people to be that way! Especially people who pretend to NOT be that way. I also hate when people lie about dumb things, well when they lie to me about dumb things.
Yes, I know that this entire post is hypocritical.
Let me start again.
I cannot stand people who pretend to be super sweet & nice and honest, that then decided that they are going to be big GIANT BITCHES that lie. I find it really ruins my day.
The point is, I like to know and be able to decide if I want to deal with bitchy, liars not have someone decide after years are playing sweet and nice to turn into well...ME!
Yes, I know that this entire post is hypocritical.
Let me start again.
I cannot stand people who pretend to be super sweet & nice and honest, that then decided that they are going to be big GIANT BITCHES that lie. I find it really ruins my day.
The point is, I like to know and be able to decide if I want to deal with bitchy, liars not have someone decide after years are playing sweet and nice to turn into well...ME!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Taking the Good with the Bad
I have had enough of this snow and here is why- it snows here and 3 days after the snow has stopped falling, schools remain closed. That would not even be so bad, but they are calling for MORE snow tomorrow night! What will that mean for Wednesday? I really need for everyone to go to work and school so that I can get some school work done. I feel like it is all or nothing around here!
I do have to admit that all has not been bad being stuck at home. The house is much cleaner than it has been is awhile and the laundry is getting done and put away:) The floor has been mopped twice in two days which hasn't happened in...well forever!
I have also had some time to think. Think about what I need and reevaluate what I can and cannot do. I see that I am over-committed and although I WANT to do all I sign on to, the hours are just not there for me to do them all and do them well. I know that it is time to cut back. I want to spend more time with my family, I want to do well in school, and I want to be happy! Those are my priorities. If I help others along the way great, if not, I am sorry. In the past few months I have really begun to see how valuable time is and there is never enough of it. There is no eraser to wipe away the wasted time and try again, when it is gone it is gone! I have decided that I want to look back and smile not see wasted time.
I am hoping tomorrow will bring another enjoyable day.
I do have to admit that all has not been bad being stuck at home. The house is much cleaner than it has been is awhile and the laundry is getting done and put away:) The floor has been mopped twice in two days which hasn't happened in...well forever!
I have also had some time to think. Think about what I need and reevaluate what I can and cannot do. I see that I am over-committed and although I WANT to do all I sign on to, the hours are just not there for me to do them all and do them well. I know that it is time to cut back. I want to spend more time with my family, I want to do well in school, and I want to be happy! Those are my priorities. If I help others along the way great, if not, I am sorry. In the past few months I have really begun to see how valuable time is and there is never enough of it. There is no eraser to wipe away the wasted time and try again, when it is gone it is gone! I have decided that I want to look back and smile not see wasted time.
I am hoping tomorrow will bring another enjoyable day.
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