Can Reflection Be Religion?

As I sit thinking about ALL the things I want to write but am afraid too, I listening to my littlest monster chat, mostly to the air, as she folds the baskets of laundry in my room and wonder what is so bad? Moreover, what do I really have the ability to control? Are the nervous, anxious, sad feelings I am having really going to help anyone? I know they are not helping me.

A few weeks ago I read a that went something like this, "Once you are true with yourself, you will no longer fear or regret your actions or words". For some reason that statement has had quite an impact on me. It may be due to the fact that I was happy to gossip(often without factual knowledge) or maybe because I would change my behavior based on my audience. I am not sure I have found the reason I was drawn to this statement, only that I was and because of that I take much more notice of my actions, words and thoughts. Thanks to that, I have had less stress in my life. Well, most of the time:)

Today was a bit challenge. Busy. And I can admit that I am not the best(or good at all) working, thinking or acting under pressure. Although I know this about myself, I cannot always ask my life to slow down until I can catch-up. What I can do however is once I find a quiet moment, is to reflect on my day and be sure that I have been true with myself. And so long as I am, the stress and anxiety slowly slip away and I remember that I am only one person and can only control myself.

It has been interesting trying to live life always thinking about my actions before I take them and often, like today, I forget to find the "purpose and meaning" before I act. That is okay though. I am not perfect. In fact, I am very far from it. I am far from understanding who I am and why I am here and how it all works, but I feel good about the progress I am finally making to understand.

I know that life is short and I know there are so many things to do while I am here, but I am also learning that it is not the quantity of what you do but the quality and I honestly believe that. No more sweating the small stuff or the big, I am working on letting go of the "control" I falsely believed I had over others and focusing on what very little I can control, my thoughts and my actions.