As I have been writing lately, I am searching for inner peace and some days are so much easier than others. Through my journey, I have been doing ALOT of reading. Some for pleasure, some for school; what I am finding both interesting & depressing are all the stories in which others are also searching for the "peace".
What I am finding most interesting/unnerving is that almost all of these authors facing these same struggles are well educated, upper-middle class, "have-it-all" types that are still looking for more. Why, I keep wondering, do all these stories fit my life? Why are all these women, who should be "happy", find themselves searching for more? Searching for peace and balance? Is it as Ruth Behar writes in The Vulnerable Observer, that as women we struggle to struck a balance between family & career? Are we "over-educating" ourselves in a society that is still not willing to let women have it all? Or is it us? Are we the ones that place these restriction & expectations on one another? Maybe someday I will look further into this question and its answers. Perhaps on my next educational journey:)
As it stands now, I have more questions than answers. I get up and remind myself everyday of all the wonderfulness of my life. And throughout the day I again remind myself. And again at night, as I reflect on my day, I remind myself how fortunate I am and how awesome my life is. However, there are moments like this when I wonder why I have to work so hard to "convince" myself that my life is GOOD, that I am fortunate, that I have so much. I guess I will keep trying to find my "inner peace", no, I know I will keep looking. And right now, I am finding peace in knowing that I have the opportunity to keep searching.
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