Quiet.

That is state of my house right now. Billy & Kelly are back in NJ, Ben is off to California, Marg & Killi are sleeping and Declan is playing a quiet game. Earlier today I feared I would hate this moment, but now that it is here, I am enjoying more than I could have imagined. I thought I would miss listening to the kids playing or having a grown-up to talk to, but I don't. In fact, it is so quiet in here that I can hear the keyboard as I type each letter, that NEVER happens here!

Tomorrow Declan & Killi will head back to school to finish off the last 14 days of the school year. I am happy for the year to be ending, not that it was a bad year, just that it is exhausting. Ten months of a schedule for someone to hates to follow one is depressing and near impossible, but I made it through, mostly anyway:)

I am working on some "new" stress-relief techniques exercise, meditation and yoga. I am in the beginning stages with all of them so I cannot report on the success of them yet, but I am hopeful. Let me know if you have any tips for me.

I hope everyone enjoyed Memorial Day and remembered all those who have served The United States of America over the years.

Random Odds and Ends from the Week

~How annoying is it that anytime there is a holiday weekend ahead that the weather forecast is always AWESOME until the Thursday before the long weekend? Is it a.) they know everyone is looking forward to beautiful weather for their vacation so they try to be optimistic or b.) the weather people are secretly paid by the travel industry. Which do you think?

~President Obama and the wreath. Personally, I could care less if he goes or not to Arlington. Joe Biden will represent the executive branch with much stronger a backbone than the President anyway.

~I was glad to hear that President Obama did not forget to tell us that the "buck stops here" while continually reminding us that his response to the oil leak can in no way be compared to the Bush Administration to Katrina...Way to take responsibility for your actions

~I enjoyed the article in The Hill this week, recapping Sen.Corker(R.,TN)pleasant conversation with the President. I am sure the Senator will return home for a long weekend to great applause and sound-bytes:)

~Wish I could take a day off on the parenting front. It has been a LONG, Tough few weeks:(

~living within the "box" is having it's pro's and con's, I am not yet sure which side is ahead:)

I guess that is my Week in Review. Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend and take a moment to remember all those that have given their lives/time in order for us to have ours. Thank you to all who have served and continue to serve our country.

A Different Way

In a attempt to continue my life as a nonconformist, but lessen the emotional stress it is causing me and my family, I have decided to work within the "system" to change the "system". I am sure this will be no less annoying for those I am trying to change than it was when I was a screaming banshee, but this way they have to listen:)

This change is not going to easily to me as "Screaming Banshee" is who I have been forever, but I have promised the husband that I would give his way a try and see what happens.

I'll keep you posted!

Thanks, Ben.

As anyone who has read my blog this week knows, it was not one of my best. The best way to sum it up is that I wasted alot of valuable time on things that were not so valuable. As I look back on this week and the things I did and see the things I wrote, I am sad and embarrassed. Because I acted that way. Because I was so stressed. Most of all I am sad and embarrassed that I lost time with my family because of my actions. It was crazy and I am so happy that I see that now. I hope that I can continue to see what is important.

What made the light shine, you ask? I'll tell you, it was much needed time alone with my husband. Time for me to talk and not have to guard what I was saying. Time to bounce feelings and ideas off someone who wasn't there to judge, just to listen. Time to just be me, with the only person who really knows who that is.

I love that he can follow my conversations as I jump from one to another and back, sometimes days later:) He makes the fact that I cannot follow a routine a good thing, not a bad one. He understands that I am driven solely by emotion and he is there to provide the reason. That is what he does for me, he balances me. And boy did I need that this week.

This post is not meant to make people think my marriage is "perfect" if "perfect" exists, because it is not. We fight and take each other for granted just like other couples. And we have our ups and downs, but the key is that WE have them. Together we have them. The point of my post is to say that I am sorry. I am sorry to my friends and family and especially to the 4 other people that have to live with me. I am sorry for the time I waste that could have been spent with you!

I am going to keep working on remembering what is important in life because who knows how many "do-overs" you get...


Today, the Lamar family laid their son,husband,brother,father and friend,SGT. Donald Lamar to rest. Sgt. Lamar was 23 years old. He was a 2 time purple Heart recipient and a True American Hero. Please think of them tonight as you say your prayers and/or Good Nights to your loved ones.

And I am Back!

WOW! Was I side-tracked the last few days. It is amazing how quickly some rain and one person can bring down your mood. I am happy to say that through good friends, xanax, meditation and my sister, I am back on track!

I realized today that the energy I was spending on a negative, mean self-centered person was time I was taking away from my loved ones. So, I will regroup and refocus!

I have a need for justice and equality in the world and among my friends and it is not there, it will never be there. I need to learn that there are some fights not worth having and trust in Karma. There is a balance in life and a balance within each of us and life is so much better when we find it.

I am so angry at myself for wasting the time I have the past few days when I have so many friends that I could be focusing on, but I haven't. I have friends and family that could use my "powers" so I am headed back in that direction:)

I Think You're Feelin' It Too...

I am feeling like I am very "high maintenance" today, and I bet my family and friends are feelin' it too. The day started out great! Monday is my favorite day of the week. To be truthful, Monday mornings between 9-12, when they all leave to go back to work and school, is my favorite part of the week. Today I woke up looking forward to that time, but had no luck. By 10 am, I was crying, yelling and calling the Husband to bitch. I continued that pattern, pretty much through the day. And because my Husband is the BEST husband for me, he answered every time because he knew I needed him too!

On continuing my bitchiness, I was sooooo happy to hear that President Obama's Aunt, who has been living in the US illegally, is now allowed to stay. And I am sure, the judge's ruling had nothing to do with him being President.

I am also glad we are cleaning-up that oil spill. And with all the time the President has spent down there, it is amazing he has had time for anything else...Oh wait, that's right he isn't there. I am so glad there is not a Republican in office ignoring this problem, it might get news coverage that way.

I sure am looking forward to tomorrow!

It is Not Working Today.

The positiveness is ALL gone for today. I am pissed-off, I am confrontational and I may be at the point of irrational. There is a person I know, that is causing all of the feelings I am having right now. Why I am allowing myself to be so bothered by her is a question I am looking for an answer too. However right now I am just going to be pissed-off and she should be happy that we will not see each other today and hope that by tomorrow, I have cooled down.

So, what do you think? Should I send and email and explain my anger, wait until tomorrow and see how I feel or do what is probably the "right" thing and take a xanax and let it go?

I will be waiting for your words of wisdom:)

Ah, Friday.

It has been another busy and crazy week around here. More monsters sick, too much school work to do, and PTO Bingo tonight, but most of it is done so maybe I can get back to my new positive ME:)

I was re-elected to the PTO Board for next year, not that I thought it would be an issue with our "Russian democracy" we have...only one name on the ballot for each position and I swear those on the ballot are hand picked!LOL! Anyway, I am there and I think it will be a great year next year!

I have so many other things I want to talk about like the oil spill and its lack of news coverage, why standardized testing sucks, the crazies in Great Britain but I am just too tired right now.

Before I go, I would like to say that a friend of a friend lost her son this week in Afghanistan and I really don't care what your views on the war are, I would just like you to keep in mind that there are still Heroes dying everyday even if it isn't on the news. So take a moment and remember those lost and all they leave behind.

Giving Credit

As most of you know, I am back/still in school, now trying for a Masters degree in History & Culture. Well, this past week I got the information on how the "new Obama" student loan plan will be affecting me and how I go about securing loans for the upcoming school year. I followed the links to the Direct Loans site that had all the new rules/regulations/forms available. What I found was wonderful! Easy to understand! Helpful! Logical! Just all around good. I have never had such a smooth time filling out forms and understanding what I was getting into with student loans.

So with that experience, I will say that barring any issues with distribution of my loans, President Obama and his administration have at least (1) check in the positive column from me. I am glad I found something.

Who knows, maybe Health Care will surprise me too. That would be a real victory for all!

Trying to Stay Positive

I have been very happy with the way my new positive approach to life has affected my family. It is crazy how much my attitude sets the tone for the entire family. It has made a world of difference in my son and I am so happy for that. Not that it has been lost on the others, but he really needed the change and it is working!

Now the issues I am having with this. I have been sick for 3 out of the last 4 weeks. First a week fighting food poisoning, and now a cold/virus thing that won't go away and has now caused my Shingles to come back in my NOSE! For anyone who has not had them, Shingles hurt, itch, burn so bad and they are in my very runny nose! That means that every time I have to blow my nose, my eyes tear-up from the pain! I am however moving forward with the positive me.

Here's to hoping I can stay positive!

About Marriage

Recently I have had many conversations about Marriage; from the definition to who/what can and should be allowed to marry. It really got me thinking about what I really "think" or "believe" about marriage and what is historically true about marriage. So, I did alittle research to see what was out there and I was surprised by what I found. I found that the institution of marriage is as old as time and has changed greatly in many ways, but stayed the same in others over that time.

First, I found that the earliest written history of marriage was found in Mesopotamia and written into Hammurabi's Code. There it says of marriage: If a man takes a woman to wife, but has no intercourse with her, this woman is no wife to him. I have seen scholars say that as the "cradle of civilization", Mesopotamia set the president for marriage as a union between a man and woman.

I also learned that there are many cultures where marriage to one or more person at a time is not only accepted, but encouraged. Even more interesting about this is that it is not allows men with more wives, sometimes it is wives with many husbands.

I learned that through history, the institute of marriage whether arranged by family or for love, was done with the idea that the man/husband would support his wife and family. While there are some exceptions to this, it has been the general school of thought.

What I did not find was much support or examples of same-sex marriage. While I did find some societies that acknowledged it, suchas Greece and some areas in China there were none where it was the "norm", in fact, the Theodosian Code in ancient Rome forbid same-sex marriage.

The other thing I found interesting is how marriage was not tied to religion until the European Christians tied it together. Before then it was mostly seen as "business" not religion, something among families.

At first I found my findings disappointing as I was looking for ways to support my position as pro same-sex marriage, and felt I did not find any, but after rereading my discoveries I think I have. I think I have because what I found was that "marriage" as a union between consenting adults has changed over-and-over since the beginning of time. And if same-sex marriage is wrong, is not the idea of a wife supporting her husband not just as wrong? The idea that a marriage cannot be anything other than a union between 1 man and 1 woman for procreation is a fairly new and European idea.

Here is where my view on marriage stands today, I believe that consenting adults should be free to marry whomever they choose and call it whatever they want. The key to my belief lies in the idea of consenting adults, by this I mean HUMAN, MENTALLY CAPABLE ADULTS! I do understand that the age of an adult varies from culture to culture and that is fine with me, so long as both sexes in that culture are seen as adults at that age. Other than that, I really think marriage should continue to be progressing concept, unique to each culture.

Kinda Slow

Sinus Infection! It bites! I cannot breathe through my nose, it is very pretty.

It has been hot here since Friday. Would have been an awesome beach weekend, but we were too busy; park with friends on Friday, Food Store and Football on Saturday and Great Train 1 mile race today.

I enjoyed the clips from the White House Correspondents Dinner. President Obama was funny picking on Leno. I enjoy the clips from that dinner, it always seems to lighten the mood in town for a day or two:)

I did not like the bomb in Time Square. I am proud on the NYPD for working so efficiently to secure the area and get things moving again. I hope they are able to find the coward/s that planted the bomb.

Busy week ahead, I've got a few papers to do for school due and hopefully the School Board will roll out their budget tomorrow. I am crossing my fingers that my sinus infection clears quickly and I will stop wheezing and sneezing soon!

Oh and our first "natural-chicken" order comes on Thursday! I am very excited! I hope that it is as wonderful as out beef!